efface.tumblr.com

In an effort to get people to look
into each other’s eyes more,
the government has decided to allot
each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it
to my ear without saying hello.
In the restaurant I point
at chicken noodle soup. I am
adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long
distance lover and proudly say
I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn’t respond, I know
she’s used up all her words
so I slowly whisper I love you,
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.

- The Quiet World, Jeffrey McDaniel

♥ (One of my favourite poems) ♥

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I would like to be the air that inhibits you for a moment only.

I would like to be that unnoticed & that necessary.

- Variations on the Word “Sleep”, Margaret Atwood.

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This is my new favourite:

It’s seriously really good. Although the contents are probably just 1/3 of the packet.

I have to seriously stop munching excessively on tidbits. But it isn’t really wise to totally cut out and deprive yourself of treats in the long run.

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I have been catching up with the college girls – LL & Grace, for the past 2 days. Have to say it’s been really an enjoyable and fulfilling time for me :)

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<3 (Hugs!)

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& LL was so sweet to actually write me a short letter in Japanese ;) She claims we can both actively practise our Japanese if we write to each other often -.-

♥♥♥

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Watched this really awesome movie with Grace yesterday, & although I cannot deny the fact that I do feel quite disturbed by the portrayal of religion by the author, I do admit it’s a great movie that’ll keep you at the edge of your seat ;) Would probably encourage anyone to watch it, so long as you keep an open mind towards it, & do take note that it’s nothing but Fiction :)

Can’t wait for our next real shopping date together ;)

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This morning I accidentally deleted half of my the texts in my Inbox.

I’ve been keeping certain texts selectively from since July 2008 (the time whereby I changed my phone), and it actually amounted to around 900 texts. By the time I realised what I was doing & cancelled it, I was left with a mere 400 texts :(

I think I am a rather sentimental person. I love keeping things, not just merely items, but letters (dating back to 1997 – that’s 12 years), notes, text messages, etc. So imagine how upset I got when I found out I had deleted slightly more than half of my entire Inbox :(

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Letters to write & Japanese Magazine Scans to download (saves me a hell lot of $$). Speaking of which, I missed out on June’s issue of JELLY (apparently it was sold out within a week at all 3 Kino branches) & the silly boyfriend just had to insist on shipping it all the way from Japan -.- Despite the fact that I could have simply downloaded the entire magazine in a digitalised format (albeit a little unclear & I’d have to use Zoom x4). So altogether I’m guessing it’s going to cost SGD$30 for a blurdy magazine O.O Tsk.

I’mma fan of the model on the extreme left - Yuki Yamamoto <3<3<3

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& that’s her on the right ;) So sexy, I nosebleed and get a virtual orgasm.

So, besides my new exercise routine of 12-15 mins of skipping almost everyday (equivalent to 25-30 mins of running), 30-50 crunches & situps each, I’m going to.. keep a food journal & hopefully I’d feel more motivated by it :> Moderation with all these  calorie-loaded food!

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Breakfast:

Green Tea Roll (Small) & Tea

Lunch:

Calbee Spicy Potato Chips x1 (86 calories) & Milk Tea

Dinner:

Small portion of rice, Fish x1, Veg x1 portion, Clear Soup x1 portion

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I shall make a more conscious effort to drink 8 glasses of water everyday; it supposedly flushes out toxins & prevents excessive water retention (which is a big problem for me personally). I do drink fluids, but apparently, things like Milk Tea or other sugar-loaded drinks aren’t really proper substitutes for H20 per se.

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Inspiration

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Some Food-For-Thought.

The Wonderful People in My Life

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First up.. None other than the dearest people in my life – My awesome family ♥

Although we do go through lots of ups & downs together, I’m proud to have a wonderful family who’s always stuck with each other through thick & thin, regardless of what may be :) Our hilarious/h2h dinner episodes probably form enough memories to last a lifetime!

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Next in line.. My two closest cousins (each from a different side of the family).

I’ve always seen Estee as a role model & as an older sister; given the fact that she’s 2 years older than I am. The closest female cousin I have, she has provided me with constant sources of advice since.. all the way back in Secondary School :) I confide in her especially when I’m seeking opinions from a more matured & experienced person who’s been through it all <3 Not to mention the fact that we do love our shopping trips and h2h talks ;)

Nicholas (Nick/Nicko/Nickelodeon), on the other hand, is 2 years my junior, & the closest guy cousin I have. We’ve practically grown up in the same house (at my grandma’s) with each other, since we were babies :) I still hold many fond childhood memories, & of course, we still do meet up every weekend to do insane things like play taptap on the iPhone, have random h2h talks, bicker relentlessly over ManUtd & Arsenal and chill!

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& of course, the rest of my cousins..

My Mum’s side <3

My cousins over at my dad’s side (minus the boys) <3

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The next (rather obvious) person would be none other than..

My BFF, SherYan :) We’ve been in the same class for 4 years, but only recently became best friends in Year 3. That makes us.. Best friends for 5 years and counting! Tons of memories shared, alongside all the silly hilarious antics, h2h talks in the canteen, study sessions over in school & at her place, cabbing to town for chicken rice & KFC before supplementary classes, zoo, etc :> I’m always so comforted by her presence, she’s probably one of the first few (or the first!) I spill all the crucial issues in my life to. And one of the few people that understands and reads me like a book (most of the time) ;) <3!

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The next 2 people are the closest friends I’ve made in college :) I’m sorry I have to group you two together, but it just so happens that we 3 share a picture together ;)

Grace & LiLin :) My wonderful sources of support, encouragement & love in college. Without them, I’m sure I wouldn’t have grown this much during the 2 years. LiLin never fails to encourage and love, and Grace, my best friend in college, has been a fantabulous listener (h2h talks over Macs again anytime ;) )! <3

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And of course, the first good friend I’ve made in college..

Priscillia! :) We were super tight back during Orientation, but sadly, split into different classes thereafter. But, it’s really heartening that we do meet up & continue updating each other, having h2hs, shopping, etc :) Another superb listener who does understand me + she’s really hilarious & drama-mama! <3

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And of course.. The Crescent & AC cliques respectively :)

The Crescent Clique: Oggy, Fas, Khalisah, Eunice, Cass, YiFang (table partner for 2 years!), Teri, XingTong (minus SherYan though:S) <3!

The AC Clique (2007): Michelle, Grace, LiLin, Rachel, Serene, Denice (minus Jasmine)

The AC Clique (April 09): Grace, Jasmine, LiLin, Rachel, Denice (minus Serene)

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My good guy buddies (sorry, don’t have photos of all of you, unfortunately!) In particular, Kevin and JianHao, thanks for being listening ears, & for giving some constructive advice & encouragement :)

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Not to forget – my wonderful church girlies :)

Karen, Pris & Vivien! :) Man, time flies! I still remember when we were growing up in Sunday School (I only joined when I was 5 years old). It’s been, what, 14-15 years! My my. We’ve been growing closer as the years pass, and I do hope we’d continue to grow even closer to each other in the future, walk hand in hand together in our faith & .. more outings please! <3

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The newest & final addition to this list..

Thank you for your support whenever I’m down & out, for attempting to understand, all the effort put in, just for us :) For your strength, your conviction. You never fail to put a smile on my face ♥♥♥

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& of course, all the other lovely friends and relatives that have been a part, one way or another, in my life thus far :) You guys have all made a significant individual impact <3

In these dreams it’s always you:
The boy in the sweatshirt,
The boy on the bridge, the boy who always keeps me
from jumping off the bridge.
- You, Richard Siken

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♥♥♥ ありがう for going the extra mile (15 mins!) & for all the sweet gifts :)

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Today was basically spent in a mundane & lazy fashion: Woke up late, lazed in bed for half an hour or so, breakfast, spent hell lots of time downloading new songs & organising my playlists (Note to self: Buy new Ipod with larger storage capacity),  alternated between reading a book and Marie Claire, shutting myself in solitude with a piano for 100 mins. +++ lots of lazying in between. It’s quite an irony how I can feel rather lost when I’ve more free slots in my schedule. I seriously can’t wait for my Japanese lessons to begin. So much so that I’ve actually done some consistent revision & looked through the initial pages of the new textbook (-.-) Perhaps I do secretly enjoying leading a busy lifestyle.

Oh, and I just realised that the site meter doesn’t include my own visits. & so far, I’ve only told one person of this blog’s existence. Although I did mention on my old blog that I was moving to WordPress. (Minus the URL though) So I guess.. Kudos to anyone who figured it out ;) Oh, and comments can easily be left by clicking on the Comments link at the bottom of each entry :)

Piano scores, Japanese revision worksheets to print (P.S. Thanks LiLin, for sharing with me the really helpful site ♥) For anyone who might be sitting for JLPT, or learning the language, here you go: MLC Meguro Learning Centre (Tokyo, Japan) – Free Study Materials.

Back to Texas HoldEm Poker (So addictive!) Shall try to devise a kick-ass entry real soon ;)

After that she spent a lot of time convincing herself that what you saw, even what you felt, had an unreliable relationship to what was actually there. What was actually there was reality, regardless of whether you saw it or how you felt about it.

– Forever in Blue: The Fourth Summer of the Sisterhood, Ann Brashares

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The past few days have been a letdown and a chore, albeit for the (upon compared, rather insignificant) fact that I actually broke one of my longest droughts in my shopping records thus far. Damn, it was only a dress anyway.

On top of committments, I have been constantly struggling with multitudes of thoughts. Surging through, searing my mind. Eating away at whatever possible remains left of me. I wonder at times, whether there should be some sort of a remedy, not to heal, but to quicken the process of dying.

Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You’ll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.

- Kafka On The Shore, Haruki Murakami

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So here I am – new space, new beginning (or at least, I hope).

I’ve moved on from Blogger and closed past chapters of my (not-very-significant) 18 going 19 years of life. This space here, I’ve decided, is going to be somewhat different, somewhat more significant. I ‘m not promising regular updates, nor tons of camwhoring photos. However. From this point onward, subtle or not, what you see is what you get.

Entries that require greater privacy will be locked.

Still in the midst of updating, so it looks rather barren now :>